One day, a long sunny day. There is an ant who is thirsty. She wanted to find water, but there was only river water. She must went down to the river to drink water. However, she slipped from the rocks and fell into the river. She carried away the river flow. She screamed loudly for help from anyone, because the river was quite heavy and strong for his little body. Then, there was a dove who saw his little friend, the ant is in trouble. Then, dove dropped some leaves into the river. And she told the ants to climb leaves immediately.
Then there was a hunter who wanted to catch the dove because of the beautiful feathers. The ant saw the hunter hiding among the bushes and he ran quickly to the hunter and bite the hunter's leg. Then, the hunter screamed in pain. Then the dove was realized that there was a hunter who wanted her. Then, dove came to the ant, and thanked for saving his life. Ants were also thanked to the dove.
There is an ant who is thirsty --> There was a thirsty ant
BalasHapusthe ant is in trouble.--> the ant was in trouble.
bite --> bit
i think your writing is better than before, but you have to more pay attention to the used of tenses, be consistent to use simple past tense, be careful.